I'm with someone
by Sophia.Love.Linstead
Summary: How the Jay and Abby bar scene should have gone, followed by the scene in their apartment. Re write of 4x17 ending.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago PD.**

 **A/N: Okay, last scenario I think lol the bar scene got to me... for various reasons. He didn't mention Erin... he said 'maybe' they could have fixed things and he said it was good to see her but goes home to leave Erin... so I changed it lol**

 **I know I mention annulment a lot... I just don't understand how a 24 hour joke marriage ends in divorce lol It along with a million other contradictory things throughout the four seasons are blowing my mind right now. I feel we all love Jay and don't want to dislike him but this episode has left us with mixed feelings. Writers better fix it ASAP. Anyway I'm done now. lol There will be a part two and I have another part of Come Home, Jay.**

I'm with someone

Jay POV

"I could do another one of these." Abby smiles over at me and I shake my head.

"Um, no, I shouldn't." I'm anxious to get home to Erin, desperate to bring her into my arms and inhale her scent. To find some reassurance that I haven't ruined us.

"Gotta get to the barracks?" She jokes.

"We didn't drink enough back then?" I throw back deflecting.

"See, I think we could've drank a little more. Maybe fixed things." She looks over at me hopefully.

"We're exactly where we are meant to be in our lives Abby." I'm gentle but serious.

"Oh."

"It was good to catch up Abby, but I gotta get home. I have someone waiting for me." My voice is soft as I let her know I've got someone now; that I've long moved on.

"Okay." She shrugs over at me, taken aback.

"Um, I should probably sign the papers and get going." I reach for my jacket, hoping this can be quick.

"I don't have them. There's no one in Philly." She looks over at me with a sly smile.

"Abby." I'm frustrated, but try and come off as understanding.

"I never told you that I loved you. Even the day that we got married. Didn't feel right. But I did. I really did."

"You shouldn't be telling me this." I shake my head looking past her.

"I'm sorry if I'm putting you in a tough spot admitting how I feel."

"You coming here with lies Abby has put me in a tough spot with my girlfriend. I'm with someone Abby… I don't want to be harsh but I don't carry any romantic feelings for you, and you telling me these things don't change anything. I'm in love with Erin. I didn't think I'd find someone like her… she's everything I want in my life." My eyes are shining with honesty as I tell her about Erin.

She averts her eyes as she stares down at the bar.

"Abby, you deserve everything good. I'm just not the guy that's gonna give it to you… I can't imagine my life without Erin and I really need to get home to her."

"You live together?" She finally looks back at me.

"Yeah. It's serious. I'd like to marry her one day." The confession slips through my lips without warning.

"Okay, I understand… I'm sorry, for everything."

"It's okay. Can we organize this divorce though?" My forehead crinkled, eyes pleading with her.

"I'll do you one better." I raise an eyebrow.

"We'll file for an annulment. Have a good life Jay; you deserve it… more than most. I hope you and Erin are happy." She reaches to squeeze my hand before leaving me alone in the bar.

* * *

Erin POV

The apartment door closes behind me; I hang my jacket up and walk forward to place my keys on the table.

My heart constricts when I see Jay's keys there and I walk towards out bedroom.

The first thing I see if a duffel bag on the bed, my heart shatters at the sight. My eyes blink rapidly before I search the room for Jay, he's sitting on a chair at the end of the bed staring at it.

My heart is racing and a million thoughts dance through my mind, including fear that he's leaving for me for Abby.

"Hey." He tells me, looking over at me.

"Hey." My voice is breathless, the wind knocked out of me at the thought of Jay walking out.

"I can stay at Will's for a bit." He offers, looking ashamed and unsure of where we stand.

"You don't have to do that." I shake my head, desperate for him to stay.

"Erin… maybe I should give you some space. Apparently I'm still married, so there's that… um who I was back then, I'm not proud of it, and I know you think everything's behind me, but it's not. I don't know if I should be here right now…"

"Whatever it is, I can handle it." I'm serious, conviction in my tone.

"I love you, and I want to stay." Jay's gaze locks with mine.

"Then stay. I want you to stay." My eyes are filling with tears.

"Why? After everything." He's shaking his head.

"Because I love you, and you don't just walk out on someone. We'll work through this… I'm sorry I thought everything was behind you, but you come off as fine."

"I got good at pushing it down." He shrugs, eyes dropping to the floor briefly.

"Is that why you never told me you were married?"

"I don't like to think about that time of my life."

"That's not healthy." I take a seat on the end of the bed.

"I know, seeing Abby just brought so much back. I gotta get my head on right. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry I'm married… I'm just sorry. I never wanted to put that look in your eyes… I had every opportunity to tell you. You have every right to kick me out…" Jay's eyes are full of tears as he struggles to keep them at bay.

"I'm angry, I won't lie. But I can see you're going through something… I'm more hurt and insecure than anything." His eyes snap over to me before he moves forward to kneel in front of me.

"You have _nothing_ to feel insecure about Erin. Okay? I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone. I meant it when I said it was a twenty-four hour joke, it was a mistake. No one could compare to you, you have nothing to worry about. There's only you."

I nod slowly, tears in my hazel eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper brokenly.

"Erin…"

"No, I'm sorry. Don't worry." I shake my head deciding against it.

"Erin, let your anger out."

"No, you need me right now."

"I can't stand sitting here knowing you aren't telling me how you really feel. Don't bottle this up to only come out later."

"You want to know how I really feel?" My voice is full of anger.

"Yes." I push him away as I stand up to pace; he rises to face me.

"I don't know who you were back then, so you got married? Okay. But I like to think I know who you are _now._ But I mustn't because I thought this is something you would tell me. At any time, when we were just partners… after you jokingly asked me if I was married. When you asked me to move in? When I admitted you are the only one in my life I trust, when it was clear I was moving away from Hank to be closer to you."

"I fucked up Erin."

"You did. Why didn't you tell me?" I try again.

"The look in your eyes."

"It wouldn't have been in my eyes if you told me early on."

"I didn't want to relive that time of my life." His head bows in shame.

"Mouse working with us didn't seem like a hard reminder, but Abby is?" I'm desperate to understand the man I love and all of his pain.

"Mouse put me back together after my time there, Abby… she's a reminder of the man I was when I got back. Reminder of the drunk asshole I was, with total disregard to other peoples feelings. It makes me feel like shit and then it makes me think about what drove me to that point… my time overseas."

I look away shaking my head, a large sigh slipping through my lips.

"Then when we were together it never seemed like a good time. Then I was so in love with you, I couldn't imagine not having you in my life… and I was worried you'd leave me."

"I lean on you Jay, why can't you be honest and lean on me? Keeping something so big with no intention to ever tell me broke my heart, hearing you are married… it hurts but for different reasons. But you can't fix that, but you could have told me. Instead this entire case felt like you were questioning me… I get I was sending out vibes about trust…. Which weren't misplaced, because I was right about you. Then I come home to find a bag out… what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't. I hate that suddenly I'm this lying asshole; I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to be the one person in your life that never did. You've had enough of that. This is the only thing I've kept from you. I promise." His voice is full of anger, directed only at himself as a tear slips down his cheek.

"And it won't ever happen again?" I wipe my tears away sniffling.

"Never."

"Okay." I whisper quietly, feeling like weight has been lifted off my chest.

 **A/N: Let me know what you think, I obviously lifted some of the lines from the show lol**

 **Review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago PD.**

 **A/N: After I finish Come Home, Jay I'm finally done with the 4x17 eps... just in time for 4x18 lol**

 **And of course to focus on my other stories. :)**

I'm with someone – Part Two

"We should probably talk… calmly." I send Jay a small smile while I take my place on the end of the bed again.

"Yeah." He brings the chair forward to sit on it again, our knees touching and his hands in mine.

"I'm really sorry Erin, can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course I can Jay. I just want to help you through this… but please, don't lie to me again."

"I won't. That was a mistake… I saw Abby tonight to sign the divorce papers. She came clean about the real reason she was here… to reconnect. I let her know I was with someone I love, someone I want to spend my life with and there was nothing there between us, never was... Not really. We agreed to get an annulment, so that will be over soon."

I blink at Jay as I try and digest the information, anger at Abby's bullshit story but grateful she wasn't vindictive and is leaving our life as quickly as she walked into it.

"But I need to see someone because I can feel all these memories and feelings coming back, and I don't want to be the same man as back then. I took my anger out on those around me, who didn't deserve it. I tried to dull the pain and loss with alcohol, blacking out too many nights."

"You've been having nightmares." I whisper softly.

"Yeah. I was bad when I got back, nightmares where I would wake in terror, like I was still there and always jumping at any sound. I wish I dealt with it then but I didn't know how…"

"We can deal with it now." He smiles at my use of the word 'we'.

"I want to open up to you, but I'm afraid you can't handle it. Won't look at me the same."

"You asked me to trust you Jay, I told you everything. It's your turn to trust me. I can handle this."

"The army buddy whose funeral it was in Vegas?" He asks referring to our conversation in the break room.

"Yeah." I nod letting him know to continue.

"He asked me to go back with him for one last tour, that tour. And I can't help but shake the feeling that maybe… he wouldn't be gone if I was there." His head bows in shame.

"Jay. It's not your fault. For all you know, you could be gone too." My voice is quiet and full of fear at that thought.

"That didn't matter to me back then, I wished it were me."

"Jay… he wouldn't want that. You have done so much good in your life, especially since you left the military. Saved so many lives, including my own in so many ways."

"I lost so many friends Erin. Saw too many being shipped home in boxes." My hands slide up to his cheeks bringing his forehead against mine.

"I've attended too many funerals and had to give my sympathies to their families, ashamed I failed them." Tears are streaming down his cheeks.

"You didn't fail anyone Jay. I'm sorry you're in so much pain."

"Thank you for being here tonight." His lips quiver as he tries to stay strong.

"I'll be here every night. I love you." I promise him with a gentle kiss.

"I don't deserve you." He pulls away to whisper.

"Yes you doo."

"How do you know?"

"Because I deserve you too." I tell him likes it's the most simple thing.

"I know I fucked up not telling you…"

"It just doesn't seem like the Jay Halstead I know." I shrug gently.

"I'll make it up to you."

"All I want is for you to get some help Jay. Open up to me… let me in. Never lie to me again and we're good."

"Okay. I can do that."

"Good."

"I was offered counseling once before and I never showed up, can you make sure I walk in?" He asks quietly.

"I'll come with you to every appointment."

Jays lips come forward to meet mine, the kiss is gentle and full of forgiveness.

His tongue slips into my mouth and I sigh in happiness, glad that we are on track to move past this.

Jay moves over me, pushing my back against the bed and my hands come around to press on his chest.

"Jay." I shake my head; unsure if we should fall back into each other's arms so soon.

"Okay." Jay nods and rolls off me, we're both looking up to the ceiling as a million thoughts race through my head.

I turn my head to the left taking in Jay's face, the pain and heartache clear as day as he thinks about the battle ahead of him.

He turns his head to the right, offering me a small smile with his red eyes looking at me with such intensity and love.

I move to straddle Jay, leaning down to join our lips.

"Are you sure?" He whispers against my lips.

"Yes, I want you." My tongue slides into his mouth, his hands resting on my hips.

He's hesitant and unsure at first given my change of mind so I grind down on him, swallowing his moan of pleasure.

His hands move under my shirt to pull it off, his hands going to my bra clasp as our eyes don't leave each other's.

He sits up suddenly so our chests are pressed together before he moves his mouth down to my breast, my back arching and head thrown back.

I'm wiggling down on his growing erection, our jeans getting in the way.

His mouth moves to my other breasts as my hands grasp his hair.

I feel his hand on the back of my head guiding our lips back together, I gasp as he pinches a nipple and his tongue pushes into my mouth.

He rolls us over before removing his shirt; my hands move up to run down his abs.

His hands pull down my jeans, leaving me in only panties as I stare up at him.

I watch as he drops his jeans and boxers, admiring the naked man in front of me.

Our lips are together again as his hands go to my panties, his lips trail down my neck as he slips these down.

He slides a finger in, agonizingly slow before adding a second causing me to thrash on the bed.

My nails dig into his back as his teeth bite down in my neck; his fingers hook causing my hips to jerk.

"I need you." I whisper, clawing at him desperately.

"I need to feel you." I whisper again as his lips find mine again.

I moan into his mouth as he slides deep inside me, he's rocking slowly at first while our kisses are full of longing.

His thrusts change pace as he pulls back to look into my eyes, I can see the love shining there and regret for hurt he's caused. I lean up to kiss away his doubt and reassure him I'll be here, through every step of what's to come.

My legs are wrapped around him, encouraging his pace to increase.

He obliges and I'm panting, so close to release as he pushes into me harder each time.

I call out his name as I find my release; Jay continues pumping into me as my orgasm racks my body.

He finds his own release, his forehead coming down to rest on mine.

"We're okay?"

"We're okay." I confirm.

 **A/N: Review :) I'll try for Come Home, Jay next and then Fate.**


End file.
